JOSHUA TIME 526

IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS TAKE IT UP WITH MYSPACE
FROM
MYSPACE BULLETIN BOARD

Everyone needs to take the time and read this. Just take a break from all your other stupid bulletins about who is gonna die or if your love life will suck for 7 years and be serious and do the right thing. Repost this or you have no soul seriously. A kid needs our help so do the right thing guys and gals.

Hi, my name is Chad Briody. I am 7 years old, and I have a large tumor on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. "The Make A Wish Foundation" has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is reposted. For those of you who repost, I thank you so much. But for those who don't repost it, I will still pray for you. Please, if you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please,
PLEASE REPOST THIS MESSAGE!

Chad Briody 360-307-9197 Home

*hey it wont cost you but 10 seconds of your time to repost this

Everyone needs to take the time and read this. Just take a break from all your other stupid bulletins about who is gonna die or if your love life will suck for 7 years and be serious and do the right thing. Repost this or you have no soul seriously. A kid needs our help so do the right thing.

Hi, my name is Bryan Warner. I am 21 years old, and I have a large tumor on my brain and severe lung cancer. The doctors say I will die soon if this isn't fixed, and my family can't pay the bills. "The Make A Wish Foundation" has agreed to donate 7 cents for every time this message is reposted. For those of you who repost, I thank you so much. But for those who don't repost it, I will still pray for you. Please, if you are a kind person, have a heart. Please, please, PLEASE

REPOST THIS MESSAGE!

Bryan Warner 631-648-8089 Home

Please feel free to call me for anything.
*hey it wont cost you but 10 seconds of your time

JOSHUA TIME 525

Dear Joshua, Everyone is asking: is the current conflict in the Middle East the beginning of World War III? Have we seen the first signs of the end times? I want to help you understand the nation of Israel and the current war with its neighbors, by getting into your hands my DVD teaching, "IRAN & ISRAEL: IMPENDING APOCALYPSE." Send your love gift now and receive the DVD teaching as my thank-you gift to you! Israel is at war. The match that lit the powder keg was Hezbollah, a radical Islamic group dedicated to the elimination of Israel. Hezbollah was founded with the help of Iran and is also funded by Syria. Iran's president, the madman Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has sworn to destroy Israel. Lebanon lets the terrorist Hezbollah hide within its country's borders, so when Hezbollah, operating out of Lebanon, kidnapped two Israeli soldiers, Israel responded with force. And Iran, responding to UN pressure to stand down in its arms program and efforts to destroy Israel, got Hezbollah to start shooting missiles into Israel. Now you have this unholy cabal of Hezbollah, Hamas, Iran and Lebanon against Israel. Now you can see why my DVD teaching "ISRAEL & IRAN: IMPENDING APOCALYPSE" is so critical! It explains what you see being played out in Israel today. Request the DVD teaching now! Unfortunately, the European Union and the French government have released statements condemning what they call Israel's "disproportionate use of force." I wonder how they would respond to threats against them similar to what Israel has experienced! We cannot allow the international community to condemn a nation that is only protecting itself from several hostile neighbors. I have just returned from Washington, D.C., where I was part of a new grassroots organization, Christians United For Israel, made up of people, like you, who love Israel and believe in God's promises to His chosen people. I'm privileged to be one of the national leaders of CUFI, an organization founded earlier this year by a dear friend in ministry, Dr. John Hagee. At the CUFI meeting, I joined more than 3,400 Christian leaders in a biblical mandate to speak out and stand up for Israel at this crucial time. I want you to pray for me, and for the other believers I will be standing with, and pray God will keep America on the right side of His people, Israel. And then I want you to give an immediate online gift. Give now, and let me send you my DVD teaching, "ISRAEL & IRAN: IMPENDING APOCALYPSE." This is the straight story about the conflict in the Middle East, and it is critical information for you, and for you to share with your neighbors and your church, and anyone who wants to know how this scenario must play out, according to the Bible. Give your gift now, and send for the DVD teaching. And be sure to keep praying for the peace Israel! Pastor Rod Parsley
email: pastorrodparsley@breakthrough.net
phone: 614-837-1990
web: http://www.breakthrough.net

JOSHUA TIME 524

The funniest story I have ever read! Women, you will laugh outloud! > > > > When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a lineof women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn,you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.> > > > > > > > Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down thewoman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. Itdoesn't matter. > > > > The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone'smom, (no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the doorhook, if there were one, but there isn't - - so you carefully, butquickly, drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave ifyou put it on the FLOOR!), yank d own your pants, and assume "The Stance." > > > > In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe theseat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." > > > > To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what youdiscover to be the EMPTY toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hearyour mom's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, youwould have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. Youremember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the onethat's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in thepuffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. > > > > Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn' t work.The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of > > your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tankof the toilet. "OCCUPIED!" you scream, as you reach for the door droppingyour precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose yourfooting altogether, and slide down directly on the TOILET SEAT. It is wetof course. > > > > You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your barebottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on theuncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that therewas any, even if you had taken time to try. > > > > You know your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew,because, you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat > > &nb sp; because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseasesyou could get." > > > > By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is soconfused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a firehose thatsomehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toiletpaper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. > > > > > > At that > > point, you give up. You are soaked by the> > > > spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're > > > > exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in yourpocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. > > > > Now, you can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the<>automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper toweland walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able tosmile politely to them. > > > > A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece oftoilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDEDit??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it into the woman's handand tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." > > > > As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, usedand left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and > > why is your purse hanging around your neck?" > > > > This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a publicrestroom (REST??? - You've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains t othe men what really does take us so long. It also answers their othercommonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It'sso the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand youKleenex under the door. > > > > Good Luck!!!

JOSHUA TIME 523

Why, Why, Why
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's YOU.

JOSHUA TIME 522

from an email I recieved

RIGHT ON! AMERICA FOR AMERICANS. IF YOU COME HERE TO BE ONE OF US, THE FOLLOWING APPLIES.

I WISH I COULD OF SAID THIS THE OTHER DAY IN THE CITY WHEN ALL THE > >IMMIGRANTS HAD THEIR LITTLE MARCH. What a feeling that would of given > >me! The nerve of them....> >> >Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of > >offending someone-----YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM !!!!> >> >Subject: THIS WAS IN A TAMPA NEWSPAPER> >> >Will we still be the Country of choice and still be America if we > >continue to make the changes forced on us by the people from other > >countries that came to live in America because it is the Country of > >Choice??????> >> >Think about it! All we have to say is, when will they do something > >about MY RIGHTS?> >> >I celebrate Christmas...........but because it isn't celebrated by > >everyone..............we can no longer say Merry Christmas. Now it has > >to be Season's Greetings.> >> >It's not Christmas vacation, it's Winter Break. Isn't it amazing how > >this winter break ALWAYS occurs over the Christmas holiday?> >> >We've gone so far the other way, bent over backwards to not offend > >anyone, that I am now being offended. But it seems that no one has a> >problem with that. This says it all!> >> >> >This is an editorial written by an> >American citizen, published in a> >Tampa, FL Newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he? Read on, please!> >> >IMMIGRANTS,> >NOT AMERICANS,> >MUST ADAPT.> >I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we> >are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist > >attacks on Sept. 11, we have experienced a surge> >in patriotism by the majority> >of Americans. However...... the dust from the attacks had> >barely settled when the "politically correct! " crowd began complaining> >about> >the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.> >> >I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who> > >is seeking a better life by coming to ! America. Our population is > >almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there> >are a few things that those> >who have recently come to> >our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.> >This idea of America being a> >multicultural community> >has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As> >Americans......> >we have our own culture, our> >own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has> >been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by> >millions of men and women who have sought freedom.> >> >> >We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, > >Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part > >of our society, learn the language!> >> >"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, > >right wing, political slogan.. We adopted this motto because Christian > >men and women.......on Christian principles............. founded this > >nation..... and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate> > >to display it on the walls of our schools.> >If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the> >world as> >your new home.........because> >God is part of our culture.> >> >If Stars and Stripes offend you, or> >you don't like Uncle Sam, then you> >should seriously consider a move> >to another part of this planet.> >We> >are happy with our culture and have> >no desire to change, and we really> >don't care how you did things where> >you came from.> >This is> >OUR COUNTRY,> >our land, and our lifestyle.> >Our First Amendment gives every citizen the> >right to express his opinion and we> >will allow you every opportunity to do so!> >But once you are done complaining....... whining...... and > >griping....... about our flag....... our pledge...... our national > >motto........or our way of life....I highly encourage you to> >take advantage of one other Great American Freedom.......> >> >THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.> >> >> >It is Time for America to Speak up> >If you agree -- pass this along;> >if you don't agree -- delete it - You are in the WRONG Country!> >> >AMEN> >> >I figure if we all keep passing this to our friends (and enemies) it > >will also, sooner or later get back to the complainers, lets all try,> >please!> >> > > This message (and any associated files) is intended only for the use > of the individual or entity to which it is addressed and may contain > information that is confidential, subject to copyright or> constitutes a trade secret. If you are not the intended recipient > you are hereby notified that any dissemination, copying or > distribution of this message, or files associated with this message, > is strictly prohibited. If you have received this message in error, > please notify us immediately by replying to the message and deleting > it from your computer. Messages sent to and from us may be monitored. > > Internet communications cannot be guaranteed to be secure or error-free > as information could be intercepted, corrupted, lost, destroyed, arrive > late or incomplete, or contain viruses. Therefore, we do not accept > responsibility for any errors or omissions that are present in this > message, or any attachment, that have arisen as a result of e-mail > transmission. If verification is required, please request a hard-copy > version. Any views or opinions presented are solely those of the author > and do not necessarily represent those of Community Bankshares, Inc. and > Community Bank & Trust.> > Community Bank & Trust will never send an e-mail message requesting > confidential information, such as account numbers, passwords, or Personal> Identification Numbers (PINs).>

JOSHUA TIME 521

>>"If Tomorrow Starts Without Me" (anon.)>>A few weeks ago a woman was killed in an auto accident. She was very well>liked, so the office shut down for her funeral and it was on the news and>so on. On the day her co-workers came back to work, they found this poem>in their e-mail that the deceased woman had sent on Friday before she left>for home.>>If tomorrow starts without me, And I'm not there to see,>If the sun should rise and find your eyes all filled with tears for me;>I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today,>While thinking of the many things, We didn't get to say.>>I know how much you love me, As much as I love you,>And each time that you think of me, I know you'll miss me too;>But when tomorrow starts without me, Please try to understand,>that an angel came and called my>name, And took me by the hand,>>And said my place was ready, In heaven far above,>And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.>But as I turned to walk away, A tear fell from my eye,>For all my life,I'd always thought, I didn't want to die.>>I had so much to live for, So much left yet to do,>it seemed almost impossible, that I was leaving you.>I thought of all the yesterdays, The good ones and the bad,>I thought of all that we shared, And all the fun we had.>>If I could relive yesterday, Just even for a while,>I'd say good-bye and kiss you and maybe see you smile.>But then I fully realized, That this could never be,>For emptiness and memories, would take the place of me.>>And when I thought of worldly things,>I might miss some tomorrow,>I thought of you, and when I did,>My heart was filled with sorrow.>>But>when I walked through heaven's gates,>I felt so much at home.>When God looked down and smiled at me,>From His great golden throne,>>He said, "This is eternity,>And all I've promised you.>"Today your life on earth is past,>but here life starts anew.>I promise no tomorrow,>But today will always last,>and since each day is the same way,>There's no longing for the past.">>So when tomorrow starts without me,>don't think we're far apart,>For every time you think of me,>I'm right here, in your heart.>>Send this to all those you care about.... And back to the one who sent it>because you never know what's going to happen tomorrow...Show them how you>care, before it's too late... May God watch over you and your family now>and always. There is no right time to do the wrong thing.... There is no>wrong time to tell someone you care.>

JOSHUA TIME 520

Blessed the one who realizesI need a helping hand to-day;Blessed the one who recognizesMy needs and turns not his face away;Blessed the one who brightens my dayWhen I'm lonely sad or bored;Blessed the one who shows me the waySmoothing the ground on this stretch of road.
Blessed the one who makes me smileWhen the day seems dull and dreary;Blessed the one who stops awhileTo say hello and chat with me;Blessed the one who brings me comfortAnd reminisces about the good old days; Blessed the one whose moral supportProvides me strength in times of dismay.
Blessed the one who comprehendsMy memory is dim my work imperfect;Blessed the one who holds my handSeeing my hesitant and tottering gait;Blessed the one who stands by me closeWhen 'so-called' friends abandon me;Blessed the one who clearly knowsThat my sight is poor and blurry.
Blessed the one who understands My infirmity and helps me with my load;Blessed the one who is still my friendThough gifts and treats I can't afford;Blessed the one who thinks I'm usefulEncouraging me with hopeful words;Blessed the one who boosts my moraleWhen with problems I'm fraught.Blessed the one who listens to meAnd makes me feel relevant;Blessed the one who believes in meThat I?m not antediluvian;Blessed the one who walks with meOn this lap of life's journey;Blessed the one who prays for meThat in mind and body I'm healthy.Thank you friend for being there At the time and place I need you,Be it balmy or blustery the weather.My journey is easier because of you.
? Emile S.T.Cheng,Singa;pore
Please pass Daily-Blessings on to your friends, family, and co-workers!! !

JOSHUA TIME 519

One day I was reading a newspaper. On page two was a picture of a famous politician and his gorgeous wife.
Slightly jealous of the politician, I turned to my wife and said, "It's unfair that the biggest jerks in the world catch the most beautiful wives."
My wife smiled and replied, "Why, thank you dear."
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Please pass Daily-Blessings on to your friends, family, and co-workers!! !