JOSHUA TIME 524

The funniest story I have ever read! Women, you will laugh outloud! > > > > When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a lineof women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn,you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied.> > > > > > > > Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down thewoman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. Itdoesn't matter. > > > > The dispenser for the modern "seat covers" (invented by someone'smom, (no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the doorhook, if there were one, but there isn't - - so you carefully, butquickly, drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave ifyou put it on the FLOOR!), yank d own your pants, and assume "The Stance." > > > > In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake.You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe theseat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold "The Stance." > > > > To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what youdiscover to be the EMPTY toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hearyour mom's voice saying, "Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, youwould have KNOWN there was no toilet paper!" Your thighs shake more. Youremember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the onethat's still in your purse. That would have to do. You crumple it in thepuffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail. > > > > Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn' t work.The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of > > your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tankof the toilet. "OCCUPIED!" you scream, as you reach for the door droppingyour precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose yourfooting altogether, and slide down directly on the TOILET SEAT. It is wetof course. > > > > You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your barebottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on theuncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that therewas any, even if you had taken time to try. > > > > You know your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew,because, you're certain, her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat > > &nb sp; because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what kind of diseasesyou could get." > > > > By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is soconfused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a firehose thatsomehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the toiletpaper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. > > > > > > At that > > point, you give up. You are soaked by the> > > > spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're > > > > exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in yourpocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. > > > > Now, you can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the<>automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper toweland walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able tosmile politely to them. > > > > A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece oftoilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDEDit??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it into the woman's handand tell her warmly, "Here, you just might need this." > > > > As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, usedand left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and > > why is your purse hanging around your neck?" > > > > This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with a publicrestroom (REST??? - You've got to be kidding!!). It finally explains t othe men what really does take us so long. It also answers their othercommonly asked question about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It'sso the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand youKleenex under the door. > > > > Good Luck!!!