JOSHUA TIME 943

THINGS ARE JUST RIGHT.

When you meet people, you can usually tell if things are right or not.
When I met the spokesman in 1999 we just clicked became instant best friends.

I love some one very special and for the first time I am loved me back.

With passion any one can see in the heart, but when we look into the eyes we see the soul, the thoughts, and we see everything.

This girl knows everything about me and I know everything about her.

I have never felt the way I feel about this girl.

I do not do half way anything. I'm all or nothing. I'm one extreeme or another.

LOVE IS SOME THING THAT LASTS FOREVER NOT JUST FOR A MOMENTS TIME.

JOSHUA

NO GAMES

joshua time 942

A LOVE STORY




This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting.
When she went before the judge in Cincinnati he asked her, "What did you steal?"
She replied, "A can of peaches."

The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry.
The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.
She replied, "6."

The judge said, "Then I will give you 6 days in jail."

Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something.

The judge said, "What is it?"

The husband said, "She also stole a can of peas."

JOSHUA TIME 941

Gasoline
>
>
>
> I've been in petroleum pipeline business for about 31 years, currently
> working for the Kinder-Morgan Pipeline here in San Jose , CA . We
> deliver about 4 million gallons in a 24-hour period from the pipe
> line; one day it's diesel, the next day it's jet fuel and gasoline. We
> have 34 storage tanks here with a total capacity of 16,800,000
> gallons. Here are some tricks to help you get your money's worth.
>
> 1. Fill up your car or truck in the morning when the temperature is
> still cool. Remember that all service stations have their storage
> tanks buried below ground; and the colder the ground, the denser the
> gasoline. When it gets warmer gasoline expands, so if you're filling
> up in the afternoon or in the evening, what should be a gallon is not
> exactly a gallon. In the petroleum business, the specific gravity and
> temperature of the fuel (gasoline, diesel, jet fuel, ethanol and other
> petroleum products) are significant. Every truckload that we load is
> temperature-compensated so that the indicated gallon age is actually
> the amount pumped. A one-degree rise in temperature is a big deal for
> businesses, but service stations don't have temperature compensation
> at their pumps .
>
> 2. If a tanker truck is filling the station's tank at the time you
> want to buy gas, do not fill up; most likely dirt and sludge in the
> tank is being stirred up when gas is being delivered, and you might be
> transferring that dirt from the bottom of their tank into your car's
> tank .
>
> 3. Fill up when your gas tank is half-full (or half-empty), because
> the more gas you have in your tank the less air there is and gasoline
> evaporates rapidly, especially when it's warm. (Gasoline storage tanks
> have an internal floating 'roof' membrane to act as a barrier between
> the gas and the atmosphere, thereby minimizing evaporation )
>
> 4. If you look at the trigger you'll see that it has three delivery
> settings: slow, medium and high. When you're filling up do not squeeze
> the trigger of the nozzle to the high setting. You should be pumping
> at the slow setting, thereby minimizing vapors created while you are
> pumping. Hoses at the pump are corrugated; the corrugations act as a
> return path for vapor recovery from gas that already has been metered.
> If you are pumping at the high setting, the agitated gasoline contains
> more vapor, which is being sucked back into the underground tank so
> you're getting less gas for your money.
>

JOSHUA TIME 940

HANDY LITTLE CHART
God has a positive answer:
YOU SAY
GOD SAYS
BIBLE VERSES

You say: "It's impossible"
God says: All things are possible
(Luke 18:27)

You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest
(Matthew 11:28-30)

You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you
(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )

You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient
(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)

You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps
(Proverbs 3:5- 6)

You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things
(Philippians 4:13)

You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able
(II Corinthians 9:8)

You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it
(Roman 8:28 )

You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you
(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)

You say: "I can't manage"
God says: I will supply all your needs
(Philippians 4:19)

You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear
(II Timothy 1:7)

You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME
(I Peter 5:7)

You say: "I'm not smart enough"
God says: I give you wisdom
(I Corinthians 1:30)

You say: "I feel all alone"
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you
(Hebrews 13:5)




PASS THIS ON. YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MAY BE IN NEED

The first sentence is pretty powerful!

God determines who walks into your life....it's up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

I need this back. If you'll do this for me, I'll do it for you....

Father, God bless all my friends in whatever it is that you know they may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity and power as they seek to have a closer relationship with you. Amen.

Now send it on to five other people, including the one who sent it to you. Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life.

P. S. Five is good, but more is better, who else do you know that needs prayer.

Make it a Wonderful Day!!

Keep people in your circle that are doing more than you so you will never become complacent and you will always strive for more.

JOSHUA TIME 939

Let's say I break into your house:

A lady wrote the best letter in the Editorials
in ages!!! It explains things better than all
the baloney you hear on TV.

Her point:

Recently large demonstrations have taken place
across the country protesting the fact that Congress
is finally addressing the issue of illegal immigration.

Certain people are angry that
the US might protect its own
borders, might make it harder
to sneak into this country and,
once here, to stay indefinitely.
Let me see if I correctly understand
the thinking behind these protests.
Let's say I break into your house.
Let's say that when you discover
me in your house, you insist that I leave.
But I say, "I've made all
the beds and washed the
dishes and did the laundry
and swept the floors. I've
done all the things you don't
like to do. I'm hard-working
and honest
(except for when I broke into your house).

According to the protesters:
You are Required to let me stay in your house
You are Required to add me to your family's insurance plan
You are Required to Educate my kids
You are Required to Provide other benefits to me & to my family
(my husband will do all of your yard work because
he is also hard-working and honest, except for that
breaking in part).

If you try to call the police or force me out,
I will call my friends who will picket your
house carrying signs that proclaim my
RIGHT to be there.

It's only fair, after all, because you have
a nicer house than I do, and I'm just
trying to better myself. I'm a hard-working
and honest, person, except for well,
you know, I did break into your house
And what a deal it is for me!!!

I live in your house, contributing only a
fraction of the cost of my keep, and
there is nothing you can do about it
without being accused of cold,
uncaring, selfish, prejudiced, and
bigoted behavior.

Oh yeah, I DEMAND that you to learn
MY LANGUAGE!!! so you can
communicate with me.

Why can't people see how ridiculous
this is?! Only in America .
if you agree, pass it on (in English).
Share it if you see the value of it.

JOSHUA TIME 938

Kentucky!!


To all my KY friends -- thought these were interesting fun facts!!

Kentucky!!
**************
1792 - Kentucky was the first state on the western frontier to join the Union.

1816 - (first promoted) Mammoth Cave, with 336+ miles of mapped passages, is the world's longest cave. It is 379 feet deep and contains at least 5 levels of passages. It became a National Park on July 1, 1941.

1856 - The first enamel bathtub was made in Louisville.

1883 - The first electric light bulb was shown in Louisville.
Thomas Alva Edison introduced his invention to crowds at the Southern Exposition.

1887 - Mother's Day was first observed in Henderson by teacher Mary S. Wilson. It became a national holiday in 1916.

1893 - Happy Birthday to You, probably the most sung song in the
world, was written by two Louisville sisters - Mildred & Patricia Hill.

Late 19th cent - Bibb lettuce was first cultivated by Jack Bibb in Frankfort, Kentucky.

1896 - The first (known) set of all male quintuplets was born in Paducah.

1934 - Cheeseburgers were first tasted at Kaelin's restaurant in Louisville.

1937 - The first Wigwam Village Motel, with units in the shape of a
"teepee", was built by Frank A. Redford in Cave City.

The world's largest baseball bat, a full one hundred twenty (120)
feet tall and weighing 68,000 pounds, can be seen at the Louisville
Slugger Museum in Louisville (Jefferson Co.).

Chevrolet Corvettes are manufactured only in Bowling Green.

Covington (St. Mary's Cathedral-Basilica of the Assumption) is home
to the world's largest hand blown stained glass window in existence.
It measures an astounding 24 feet by 67 feet and contains 117 different figures.

The world's largest crucifix, standing at sixty (60) feet tall, is in Bardstown (Nelson Co.).

Fort Knox holds more than $6 billion worth of gold - the largest amount
stored anywhere in the world.

The JIF plant in Lexington is the world's largest peanut butter producing facility.
Procter & Gamble sold Jif in 2002.

Kentucky has more resort parks than any other state in the nation.

Middlesboro is the only US city built inside a meteor crater.

Newport is home to The World Peace Bell, the world's largest free-swinging bell.

Pike County is the world's largest producer of coal.

Pikeville annually leads the nation (per capita) in consumption of Pepsi-Cola.

Post-It Notes are made exclusively in Cynthiana, KY.

Shaker Village (Pleasant Hill) is the largest historic community of its kind in the U.S.

Christian County is 'wet', while Bourbon County is 'dry'.

Barren County has the most fertile land in the state.

One part of Kentucky is completely separated from the rest of the state
by the Mississippi River.

JOSHUA TIME 937

Children
>
>
> Why do we love children?
>
> 1) NUDITY
> I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a
> woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
> naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from
> the back seat, "Mom, that lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
>
> 2) OPINIONS
> On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from
> his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not
> necessarily those of his parents."
>
> 3) KETCHUP
> A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her
> struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the
> phone. "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's
> hitting the bottle"
>
> 4) MORE NUDITY
> A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker
> room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
> grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in
> amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a
> little boy before?"
>
> 5) POLICE # 1
> While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was
> interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my
> uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?"
> "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report.
> "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that
> right?"
> "Yes, that's right," I told her.
> "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you
> please tie my shoe?"
>
> 6) POLICE # 2
> It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking,
> and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
> there?" he asked.
> "It sure is," I replied.
> Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van.
> Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
>
> 7) ELDERLY
> While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
> She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
> particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her
> staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself
> for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered,
> "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
>
> 8) DRESS-UP
> A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her
> dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
> "And why not, darling?"
> "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning. "
>
> 9) DEATH
> While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister
> heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt.
> Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin.
> Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small
> box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of
> the deceased.
> The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with
> sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always
> said: "Glory be unto the Faaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole
> he goooes." (I want this line used at my funeral!)
>
> 10) SCHOOL
> A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
> wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write,
> and they won't let me talk!"
>
> 11) BIBLE
> A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
> through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
> picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that
> had been pressed in between the pages.
> "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.
> "What have you got there, dear?"
> With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
> Adam's underwear!"

JOSHUA TIME 936

Just
wanted to tell you that I love you all and it was difficult for me to decide who
I thought would DO this because many people claim to pray, but not everyone
does. I hope I chose the right twelve. Please send this back to me. May everyone
who receives this message be blessed. REMEMBER to pray. That's all you have to
do... There is nothing attached. Just send this to twelve. Prayer is one of the
best free gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of reward. Make sure you
pray, and pray believing that God will answer. May today be all that you need it
to be today. May the peace of God and the freshness of the Holy Spirit rest in
your thoughts, rule in your dreams tonight and conquer all your fears. May God
manifest himself today in ways that you have never experienced. May your joys be
fulfilled, your dreams be closer and your prayers be answered. I pray that faith
enters a new height for you; I pray that your territory is enlarged and I pray
that you step into your destiny within your ministry. I pray for peace, health,
happiness and true and undying love for God. Now, send this to 12 people within
the next 5 minutes and remember to send this back...I count as 1...you'll see
why. Hint: Copy and paste

JOSHUA TIME 935

Psalm 55:22 --- you really need to read this.
> 'Friends are God's way of taking care of us.'
> This was written by a of Metro Denver Hos pice Physician:
>
> I just had one of the most amazing exp eriences of my life, and wanted to share it with my family and dearest friends.
>
> I was driving home from a meeting this evening about 5, stuck in traffic on Colorado Blvd., and the car started to choke and splutter and die - I barely managed to coast, cursing, into a gas station, glad only that I would not be blocking traffic and would have a somewhat warm spot to wait for the tow truck. It wouldn't even turn over. Before I could make the call, I saw a woman walking out of the 'quickie mart' building, and it looked like she slipped on some ice and fell into a Gas pump, so I got out to see if she was okay.
>
> When I got there, it looked more like she had been overcome by sobs than that she had fallen; she was a young woman who looked really haggard with dark circles under her eyes. She dropped something as I helped her up, and I picked it up to give it to her.. It was a nickel.
>
> At that moment, everyth ing came into focus for me: the crying woman, the ancient Subur ban crammed full of stuff with 3 kids in the back (1 in a car seat), and the gas pump reading $4.95.
>
> I asked her if she was okay and if she needed help, and she just kept saying ' don't want my kids to see me crying,' so we stood on the other side of the pump from her car. She said she was driving to California and that things were very hard for her right now. So I asked, 'And you were praying?' That made her back away from me a little, but I assured her I was not a crazy person and said, 'He heard you, and He sent me.'
>
> I took out my card and swiped it through the card reader on the pump so she could fill up her car completely, and while it was fueling, walked to the next door McDonald's and bought 2 big bags of food, some gift certificates for more, and a big cup of coffee. She gave the food to the kids in the
> car, who attacked it lik e wolves, and we stood by the pump eating fries and talking a li ttle.
>
> She told me her name, and that she lived in Kansas City Her boyfriend left 2 months ago and she had not been able to make ends meet. She knew she wouldn't have money to pay rent Jan 1, and finally in desperation had finally called her parents, with whom she had not spoken in about 5 years. They lived in California and said she could come live with them and try to get on her feet there.
>
> So she packed up everything she owned in the car. She told the kids they were going to California for Christmas, but not that they were going to live there.
>
> I gave her my gloves, a little hug and said a quick prayer with her for safety on the road. As I was walking over to my car, she said, 'So, are you like an ange l or something?'
>
> This definitely made me cry. I said, 'Sw eetie, at this time of year angels are really busy, so sometimes God uses regular people.'
>
> It was so incredible to be a part of someone else's miracle. And of course, you guessed it, when I got in my car it started right away and got me home with no problem. I'll put it in the shop tomorrow to check, but I suspect the mechanic won't find anything wrong.
>
> Sometimes the angels fly close enough to you that you can hear the flutter of their wings...
>
> Psalms 55:22 'Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee. He shall never suffer the righteous to be moved.'
>
> My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, especially for the months in 200 7 , and I picked you.
>
> Please pass this to four people you want to be blessed and a copy back to me.
>
> This prayer is powerful and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.
>
> Here is the prayer:
>
> 'God, I ask You to bless my children, grandchildren, friends, relatives and email buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. I ask You to minister to their spirit this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self doubt, release a renewed confidence. Amen.'
>
> I know I picked more than four -- you can, too.
>
>

JOSHUA TIME 934

BORN BETWEEN 1930-1979



This was sent to me as a forward. I thought you would possibly enjoy it, as well.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Those Born 1930-1979
READ TO THE BOTTOM FOR QUOTE OF THE MONTH BY JAY LENO. IF YOU DON'T READ ANYTHING ELSE---VERY WELL STATED

TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED the 1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!!

First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags.

Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank Kool-aid made with sugar, but we weren't overweight because,
WE WERE ALWAYS
OUTSIDE PLAYING!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And we were O.K.

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computer! s, no Internet or chat rooms.......
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.


We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them!

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Imagine that!!

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.
We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

If YOU are one of them CONGRATULATIONS!

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good .
While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave (and lucky) their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it?!

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?'

For those that prefer to think that God is not watching over us...go ahead and delete this.
For the rest of us...pass this on.

JOSHUA TIME 932

I found these jokes funny I hope you do too.





Clean can be funny.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he tied her up and went golfing.

**************************************************
A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!"
The husband said, "Oh my! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said. "Just get out."


****** ********************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
********************* *****************************


A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters

'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' "Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
**************************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, "I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent." "Thanks ," said an elderly nun at the back. "I'm so tired of chardonay."




**************************************************
My wife (Judith) was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my!
You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my! WHERE are
we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to STICK!
Careful . CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen
to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt.
USE THE SALT! THE SALT!" The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
**************************************************

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb. That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.
**************************************************














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