JOSHUA TIME 420

Tequila and Salt

This should probably be taped to your bathroom mirror where one could read it every day. You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.
5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.
6. You mean the world to someone.
7. You are special and unique.
8. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.
9. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
10. When you think the world has turned its back on you take another look.
11. Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.
So............If you are a loving friend, send this to everyone, including the one that sent it to you. If you get it back, then they really do love you.
And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt and call me over!

JOSHUA TIME 419

The Price of Eggs and Gasoline
Maybe????This is long but worth reading to the end. The one thing I would change would be the amount of product I buy.This makes a lot of sense~ read to the end!!!A man eats two eggs each morning for breakfast. When he goesto the grocery store he pays .60 cents a dozen. Since a dozeneggs won't last a week he normally buys two dozens at a time.One day while buying eggs he notices that the price has risento 72 cents. The next time he buys groceries, eggs are .76cents a dozen. When asked to explain the price of eggs thestore owner says, "the price has gone up and I have to raise myprice accordingly".This store buys 100 dozen eggs a day. I checked around for abetter price and all the distributors have raised their prices. The distributors have begun to buy from the huge egg farms. The small egg farms have been driven out of business.The huge egg farms sells 100,000 dozen eggs a day todistributors. With no competition, they can set the price asthey see fit. The distributors then have to raise their pricesto the grocery stores. And on and on and on. As the man keptbuying eggs the price kept going up. He saw the big egg trucksdelivering 100 dozen eggs each day. Nothing changed there.He checked out the huge egg farms and found they were selling100,000 dozen eggs to the distributors daily. Nothing hadchanged but the price of eggs.Then week before Thanksgiving the price of eggs shot up to$1.00 a dozen. Again he asked the grocery owner why and wastold, "cakes and baking for the holiday". The huge egg farmersknow there will be a lot of baking going on and more eggs willbe used. Hence, the price of eggs goes up. Expect the samething at Christmas and other times when family cooking, baking,etc. happen.This pattern continues un til the price of eggs is 2.00 adozen. The man says,"there must be something we can do aboutthe price of eggs".He starts talking to all the people in his town and they decideto stop buying eggs. This didn't work because everyone neededeggs. Finally, the man suggested only buying what you need.He ate 2 eggs a day. On the way home from work he would stopat the grocery and buy two eggs. Everyone in town startedbuying 2 or 3 eggs a day.The grocery store owner began complaining that he had too manyeggs in his cooler. He told the distributor that he didn'tneed any eggs. Maybe wouldn't need any all week.The distributor had eggs piling up at his warehouse. He toldthe huge egg farms that he didn't have any room for eggs wouldnot need any for at least two weeks.At the egg farm, the chickens just kept on laying eggs.To relieve the pressure, the huge egg farm told the distributorthat they could buy the eggs at a lower price. The distributorsaid, " I don't have the room for the %$&^*&% eggs even if theywere free".The distributor told the grocery store owner that he wouldlower the price of the eggs if the store would start buyingagain. The grocery store owner said, "I don't have room formore eggs. The customers are only buy 2 or 3 eggs at a time". "Now if you were to drop the price of eggs back down to theoriginal price, the customers would start buying by the dozenagain".The distributors sent that proposal to the huge egg farmers. They liked the price they were getting for their eggs but, themchickens just kept on laying.Finally, the egg farmers lowered the price of their eggs. Butonly a few cents. The customers still bought 2 or 3 eggs at atime. They said, "when the price of eggs gets down to where itwas before, we will start buying by the dozen."Slowly the price of eggs started dro pping. The distributorshad to slash their prices to make room for the eggs coming fromthe egg farmers. The egg farmers cut their prices because thedistributors wouldn't buy at a higher price than they wereselling eggs for.Anyway, they had full warehouses and wouldn't need eggs forquite a while.And them chickens kept on laying.Eventually, the egg farmers cut their prices because they werethrowing away eggs they couldn't sell. The distributorsstarted buying again because the eggs were priced to where thestores could afford to sell them at the lower price.And the customers starting buying by the dozen again.Now, transpose this analogy to the gasoline industry. 10GallonsWhat if everyone only bought $10.00 worth of gas each time theypulled to the pump. The dealers tanks would stay semi full allthe time. The dealers wouldn't have room for the gas comingfrom the huge tank farms. The tank farms wouldn't have roomfor the gas coming from the refining plants. And the refiningplants wouldn't have room for the oil being off loaded from thehuge tankers coming from the Middle East. 10 GallonsJust $10.00 each time you buy gas. Don't fill it up. You mayhave to stop for gas twice a week but, the price should comedown.Think about it. 10 GallonsAs an added note...When I buy $10.00 worth of gas,that leavesmy tank a little under half full. The way prices are jumpingaround, you can buy gas for $2.65 a gallon and then the nextmorning it can be $2.15. If you have your tank full of $2.65gas you don't have room for the $2.15 gas. ** Everyone shouldread this and send it on!

JOSHUA TIME 418

GOD, a Bear and an Atheist:
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees!What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushesbehind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7 foot grizzly charging toward him! He ran asfast as he could up the path.He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer.He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up butsaw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw andraising his right paw to strike him.At that instant the Atheist cried out: "Oh my God!..."Time stopped.The bear froze.The forest was silent.As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky:"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist,and even credit creation to a cosmic accident.Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you asa believer?"The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of meto suddenly ask You to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps could youmake the BEAR a Christian?""Very well," said the voice. The light went out.The sounds of the forest resumed.And then the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together andbowed his head and spoke:"Lord, bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty throughChrist our Lord, Amen."

JOSHUA TIME 417

EKU PARKING OFFICE

I want to apeal the tickets that I got. I use a wheelchair and would love to know where I could and should park at; my decal number is 45486
I have two parking tickets one on 4-11 and the other on 4-18. The ticket I got on 4-11 was at SSB and the baracade was moved. The math department head said I could park there.
I have class in the campbell building and I got a ticket for parking in a reserved spot. I have parked there many times before and never got a ticket.
What bothers me is I go looking for parking places and I can not find none they are all taken and they don't get tickets.
Where do I need to park at in the AC LOT and leave my car there all day? I can not do that because sometimes I go off campus to do my studying and to eat and I can not put the wheelchair in the trunk.
I'll come see you all at the parking office tomorrow [Thursday] so I can find out where I can park at and if the ticket can not be appealed pay the ticket because I know I can not register for classes until its paid which is not fair.

NO GAMES,

JOSHUA

JOSHUA TIME 416

Thanks for all the readers who stop by Joshua Time

Be sure and check the archives...

Joshua

JOSHUA TIME 415

Four Worms
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a container of alcohol. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil. At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results: The first worm in alcohol - Dead. The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead. Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead. Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.So the Mi nister asked the congregation - What can you learn from this demonstration? A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, "As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!" Don't you just love little old ladies????

JOSHUA TIME 414

I'm sorry I gotta hit you with this but, one of my>>> close friends hit me with it and I felt I had to pass>>> it on. Kid asked Jesus... how much do you love me?>>> Jesus replied," I love you this much." and He>>> stretched his arms to the cross and died for us. If>>> you believe in God, you will send this to everyone on>>> your list. If you delete this, you will have a cold>>> heart in 2006. I like you because of who you are to>>> me. I treat you as a true friend. But if I don't get>>> this back, I get the hint. Send this to all people in>>> your list within 30 minutes and something good will>>> happen to you NOW. This is not a>>> fake...apparently...copy and paste this to 15 people>>> in the next 10 minutes and you WILL have the best day>>> of your life tomorrow

JOSHUA TIME 413

IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT Isn't it strange how a 20 dollar bill seems like
such a large amount when you donate it to church,
but such a small amount when you go shopping? Isn't it strange how 2 hours seem so long when you're
at church, and how short they seem when you'rewatching a good movie? Isn't it strange that you can't find a word to say whenyou're praying, but you have no trouble thinking what
to talk about with a friend?
Isn't it strange how difficult and boring it is to readone chapter of the Bible, but how easy it is to read
100 pages of a popular novel or magazine?
Isn't it strange how everyone wants front-row-ticketsto concerts or games, but they do whateveris possible to sit at the last row in church?
Isn't it strange how we need to know about a
church event 2-3 weeks before the day so we caninclude it in our agenda, but we can adjust it for
other events in the last minute?
Isn't it strange how difficult it is to learn
a fact about God to share it with others,
but how easy it is to learn, understand,extend and repeat gossip?
Isn't it strange how we believe everythingthat magazines and newspaperssay, but we question the words in the Bible?
Isn't it strange how everyone wants a place inheaven, but they don't want to believe, do, or
say anything to get there?
Isn't it strange how we send jokes in e-mailsand they are forwarded right away,but when we are going to send messages about God, we thinkabout it twice before we share it with others?
IT'S STRANGE ISN'T IT?Now that you've read this message,forward it to anybody that youconsider a friend, family member or foe(enemy). If you don't do it not only will you depriveyourself from being blessed,but you will also do thatto others who may need God in their life.

JOSHUA TIME 412

MY 8 x 8I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is. You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No way! I'M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes "8 Second Prayer." Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, my finances, and all of my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen." Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}. You will receive a miracle tomorrow! I HOPE that you don't ignore and let

JOSHUA TIME 411

Take my Son>>>>>>>>>>>>Likely the greatest e-mail I've ever received...>>>>>>>>>>>> Take my Son>>>>>>>> A wealthy man and his son loved to collect rare works of art. They>>>> had everything in their collection, from Picasso to Raphael. They would>>>> often sit together and admire the great works of art.>>>>>>>>>>>> When the Vietnam conflict broke out, the son went to war. He was very>>>> courageous and died in battle while rescuing another soldier. The>>>> father was notified and grieved deeply for his only son.>>>>>>>> About a month later, just before Christmas, there was a knock at the>>>> door. A young man stood at the door with a large package in his hands.>>>>>>>> He said, "Sir, you don't know me, but I am the soldier for whom your>>>> son gave his life. He saved many lives that day, and he was carrying me>>>> to safety when a bullet struck him in the heart and he died instantly.>>>> He often talked about you, and your love for art." The young man held>>>> out this package. "I know this isn't much. I'm not really a great>>>> artist, but I think your son would have wanted you to have this.">>>>>>>> The father opened the package. It was a portrait of his son, painted>>>> by the young man. He stared in awe at the way the soldier had captured>>>> the personality of his son in the painting. The father was so drawn to>>>> the eyes that his own eyes welled up with tears. He thanked the young>>>> man and offered to pay him for the picture. "Oh, no sir, I could never>>>> repay what your son did for me. It's a gift.">>>>>>>>>>>> The father hung the portrait over his mantle. Every time visitors>>>> came to his home he took them to see the portrait of his son before he>>>> showed them any of the other great works he had collected.>>>>>>>>>>>> The man died a few months later. There was to be a great auction of>>>> his paintings Many influential people gathered, excited over seeing the>>>> great paintings and having an opportunity to purchase one for their>>>> collection.>>>>>>>> On the platform sat the painting of the son The auctioneer pounded>>>> his gavel. "We will start the bidding with this picture of the son. Who>>>> will bid for this picture?">>>>>>>> There was silence.>>>>>>>> Then a voice in the back of the room shouted, "We want to see the>>>> famous paintings. Skip this one.">>>>>>>>>>>> But the auctioneer persisted. "Will somebody bid for this painting.>>>> Who will start the bidding? $100, $200?">>>>>>>> Another voice angrily. "We didn't come to see this painting. We came>>>> to see the Van Goghs, the Rembrandts. Get on with the real bids!">>>>>>>>>>>> But still the auctioneer continued. "The son! The son! Who'll take>>>> the son?">>>>>>>> Finally, a voice came from the very back of the room. It was the>>>> longtime gardener of the man and his son. "I'll give $10 for the>>>> painting." Being a poor man, it was all he could afford.>>>>>>>> "We have $10, who will bid $20?">>>>>>>> "Give it to him for $10. Let's see the masters.">>>>>>>> "$10 is the bid, won't someone bid $20?">>>>>>>>>>>> The crowd was becoming angry. They didn't want the picture of the>>>> son.>>>>>>>> They wanted the more worthy investments for their collections.>>>>>>>> The auctioneer pounded the gavel. "Going once, twice, SOLD for $10!">>>>>>>> A man sitting on the second row shouted, "Now let's get on with the>>>> collection!">>>>>>>>>>>> The auctioneer laid down his gavel. "I'm sorry, the auction is over.">>>>>>>> "What about the paintings?">>>>>>>> "I am sorry. When I was called to conduct this auction, I was told of>>>> a secret stipulation in the will. I was not allowed to reveal that>>>> stipulation until this time. Only the painting of the son would be>>>> auctioned. Whoever bought that painting would inherit the entire>>>> estate, including the paintings.>>>>>>>> The man who took the son gets everything!">>>>>>>> God gave His son 2,000 years ago to die on the cross. Much like the>>>> auctioneer, His message today is: "The son, the son, who'll take the>>>> son?">>>>>>>> Because, you see, whoever takes the Son gets everything.>>>>>>>> FOR GOD SO LOVED THE WORLD HE GAVE HIS ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, WHO SO EVER>>>> BELIEVETH, SHALL HAVE ETERNAL LIFE...THAT'S LOVE>>>>>>>> Please send this to ten people and back to the one who sent it to>>>> you.>>>>>>>>>>>> Do whatever you like, but remember that maybe "one" of the people you>>>> might have taken the time to send this to, may be just the person who>>>> needs to hear this message. You have a choice to make.">>>>>>>> God Bless.

JOSHUA TIME 410

Never

Never will I understand why no one gives me a chance or believes in me.

I go to a church where I'm looked over everyone can do stuff but me. I have messages on my heart to preach but the pastor will not give me a chance, he has gave every one including his daughter a chance to preach. I could open servicde, take up offering, usher, do the videoing; but no they do not want to use me. The pastor let some one preach that stole my medicine and lied about it then gave me the wrong medicine.

They put my brother in the back of the chior my brother is the best they have.

It is sad I could put me an old Rod Parsley tape in or Tommy Bates tape in the VCR and have more church than going to church.

No one would hire me when I begged for work because of mu "condition" We have people collecting checks who could and should be working. We have people coming into America illegally who are working but no one will hire me.

I can not be silent any longer something as to change.

I might tell you what church this is who the pastor is at a later time.

I have no sollutions for this one because this one is out of my hands.

NO GAMES,

JOSHUA