JOSHUA TIME 894

Subject: Parents Who Drugged Us


The other day, someone at a store in our town read that a Methamphetamine lab had been found in an old farmhouse in the adjoining county and he asked me a rhetorical question. "Why didn't we have a drug problem when you and I were growing up?"



I replied, I had a drug problem when I was young:



I was drug to church on Sunday morning. I was drug to church for weddings and funerals.



I was drug to family reunions and community socials no matter the weather.



I was drug by my ears when I was disrespectful to Adults.



I was also drug to the woodshed when I disobeyed my parents, told a lie, brought home a bad report card, did not speak with respect, spoke ill of the teacher or the preacher, or if I didn't put forth my best effort in everything that was asked of me.



I was drug to the kitchen sink to have my mouth washed out with soap if I uttered a profanity.



I was drug out to pull weeds in mom's garden and flower beds and cockleburs out of dad's fields.



I was drug to the homes of family, friends, and neighbors to help out some poor soul who had no one to mow the yard, repair the clothesline, or chop some firewood; and, if my mother had ever known that I took a single dime as a tip for this kindness, she would have drug me back to the woodshed.



Those drugs are still in my veins and they affect my behavior in everything I do, say, or think. They are stronger than cocaine, crack, or heroin; and, if today's children had this kind of drug problem, America would be a better place.



God bless the parents who drugged us.

JOSHUA TIME 893

WHY GO TO CHURCH
> >
> >
> >
> > >
> > >Why go to Church?
> > >
> > >If you're spiritually alive, you're going to love this! If you're
> > >spiritually dead, you won't want to read it. If you're spiritually
> > >curious, there is still hope!
> > >
> > >Why Go To Church?
> > >
> > >A Church goer wrote a letter to the editor of a newspaper and complained
> > >that it made no sense to go to church every Sunday. "I've gone for 30
> > >years now," he wrote, "and in that time I have heard something like
> > >3,000 sermons. But for the life of me, I can't remember a single one of
> > >them. So, I think I'm wasting my time and the pastors are wasting theirs
> > >by giving sermons at all."
> > >
> > >This started a real controversy in the "Letters to the Editor" column,
> > >much to the delight of the editor. It went on for weeks until someone
> > >wrote this clincher:
> > >
> > >"I've been married for 30 years now. In that time my wife has cooked
> > >some 32,000 meals. But, for the life of me, I cannot recall the entire
> > >menu for a single one of those meals. But I do know this.. They all
> > >nourished me and gave me the strength I needed to do my work. If my
> wife
> > >had not given me these meals, I would be physically dead today.
> > >Likewise, if I had not gone to church for nourishment , I would be
> > >spiritually dead today!" When you are DOWN to nothing.... God is UP to
> > >something! Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and
> > >receives the impossible! Thank God for our physical AND our spiritual
> > >nourishment! < /I>
> > >
> > >All right, now that you're done reading, send it on! I think everyone
> > >should read this! "When Satan is knocking at your door, simply say,
> > >"Jesus, could you get that for me?"
> > >
> > > Love and Hugs to all
> > >

joshua time 892

They walk among us....


Could not resist sharing this one....how depressing!


*THEY WALK AMONG US*

I was at the checkout of a Kmart. The clerk rang up $46.64 charge. I
gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64.

I gave it back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY
favor and gave her the money back. She became indignant and informed me
she was educated and knew what she was doing and returned the money
again. I gave her the money back again... same scenario! I departed the
store with the $46.64.

This happened in Austin at MoPac Blvd and Parmer Lane.

They Walk Among Us and Many Work Retail.

===================

I walked into a Mickey D's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon For a
sandwich. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little
Chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free." "They're already
buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free" She
handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door.

They Walk Among Us an d Many Work Retail.

===================

One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one
Of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the Sky
and said, "Where?"

They Walk Among Us!

===================

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking
him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?" When
my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for
sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh I don't keep up with that stuff."

They Walk Among Us!!

===================

I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I
got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days
a week" He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific ti me?" Wanting to end
the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."

They Walk Among Us!

===================

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a
Seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.

They Walk Among Us!

===================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The
cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.

They Walk Among Us!

===================

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went To the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags Never showed
up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a Trained
professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, has your
plane arrived yet?"

They Walk Among Us!

===================

While working at a pizza parl or I observed a man ordering a small pizza
to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like
it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before
responding. "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough
to eat 6 pieces."

Yep, They Walk Among Us!

===================

They Walk Among Us, AND they Reproduce, and Worst of All

*They VOTE*

--

joshua time 891

>50 Years in School
>
>
>See what 50 years will do.
>
>
>Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.
>
>1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his
>car and gets his to show Jack.
>
>2006 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and
>never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized
>students and teachers.
>
>++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
>
>1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up
>best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
>
>2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge
>them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
>
>1956 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits
>still in class.
>
>2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets
>extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
>
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.
>
>1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college,
>and becomes a successful businessman.
>
>2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care
>and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she
>remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom
>has affair with psychologist.
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.
>
>1956 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.
>
>2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++

>Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.
>
>1956 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special
>school for expectant mothers.
>
>2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the
>ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her
>parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more
>careful next time.
>
>++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
>
>1956: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
>
>2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper
>articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement
>for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state
>school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core
>curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a
>living because he can't speak English.
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July,
>puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
>
>1956 - Ants die.
>
>2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic
>terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers
>confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed
>to fly again.
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He
>Is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.
>
>1956 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
>
>2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She
>faces 3 years in State Prison.
>
>
>+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>Is something wrong here????

joshua time 890

Concentrate on this sentence.....


"The will of God will never take you
where the Grace of God will not protect you."

SOMETHING GOOD WILL HAPPEN TO YOU TODAY.
SOMETHING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING TO HEAR.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE.
SOMEONE WILL CALL YOU BY PHONE OR WILL SPEAK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING THAT YOU WERE WAITING TO HEAR.!!

DO NOT BREAK!!


SEND IT TO A MINIMUM OF 7 PEOPLE......... JUST DO IT!