JOSHUA TIME 515

THE BURDEN> > "Why was my burden so heavy?" I slammed the bedroom door and leaned> against it. Is there no rest from this life? I wondered. I stumbled to> my bed and dropped onto it, pressing my pillow around my ears to shut> out the noise of my existence.> > "Oh God," I cried, "let me sleep. Let me sleep forever and never wake> up!"> > With a deep sob I tried to will myself into oblivion, then welcomed the> blackness that came over me.> > Light surrounded me as I regained consciousness. I focused on its> source: the figure of a man standing before a cross.> > "My child," the person asked, "why did you want to come to Me before I> am ready to call you?"> > "Lord, I'm sorry. It's just that... I can't go on. You see how hard it> is for me. Look at this awful burden on my back. I simply can't carry> it anymore."> > "But haven't I told you to cast all of your burdens upon Me, because I> care for you? My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."> > "I knew You would say that. But why does mine have to be so heavy?"> > "My child, everyone in the world has a burden. Perhaps you would like> to try a different one?"> > "I can do that?"> > He pointed to several burdens lying at His feet. "You may try any of> these."> > All of them seemed to be of equal size. But each was labeled with a> name.> > "Why there's Joan's!" I said. Joan was married to a wealthy> businessman. She lived in a sprawling estate and dressed her three> daughters in the prettiest designer clothes. Sometimes she drove me to> church in her Cadillac when my car was broken.> > "Let me try that one." How difficult could her burden be? I thought.> > The Lord removed my burden and placed Joan's on my shoulders. I sank to> my knees beneath its weight. "Take it off!" I said. "What makes it so> heavy?"> > "Look inside."> > I untied the straps and opened the top. Inside was a figure of her> Mother-in-law, and when I lifted it out, it began to speak.> > "Joan, you'll never be good enough for my son," it began. "He never> should have married you. You're a terrible mother to my> grandchildren..."> > I quickly placed the figure back in the pack and withdrew another. It> was Donna, Joan's youngest daughter. Her head was bandaged from the> surgery that had failed to resolve her epilepsy.> > A third figure was Joan's brother. Addicted to drugs, he had been> convicted of killing a police officer.> > "I see why her burden is so heavy, Lord. But she's always smiling and> helping others. I didn't realize..."> > "Would you like to try another?" He asked quietly.> > I tested several. Paula's felt heavy: She was raising four small boys> without a father. Debra's did too: a childhood of sexual abuse and a> marriage of emotional abuse. When I came to Ruth's burden, I didn't> even try. I knew that inside I would find arthritis, old age, a> demanding full-time job, and a beloved husband in a nursing home.> > "They're all too heavy, Lord." I said. "Give back my own."> > As I lifted the familiar load once again, It seemed much lighter than> the others.> > "Lets look inside." He said.> > I turned away, holding it close. "That's not a good idea," I said.> > "Why?"> > "There's a lot of junk in there."> > "Let Me see."> > The gentle thunder of His voice compelled me. I opened my burden.> > He pulled out a brick.> > "Tell me about this one."> > "Lord, You know. It's money. I know we don't suffer like people in> some countries or even the homeless here in America. But we have no> insurance, and when the kids get sick, we can't always take them to the> doctor. They've never been to a dentist. And I'm tired of dressing them> in hand-me-downs."> > "My child, I will supply all of your needs... and your children's. I've> given them healthy bodies. I will teach them that expensive clothing> doesn't make a person valuable in My sight."> > Then He lifted out the figure of a small boy. "And this?" He asked.> > "Andrew..." I hung my head, ashamed to call my son a burden. "But,> Lord, he's hyperactive. He's not quiet like the other two. He makes me> so tired. He's always getting hurt, and someone is bound to think I> abuse him. I yell at him all the time. Someday I may really hurt> him...."> > "My child," He said, "if you trust Me, I will renew your strength. If> you allow Me to fill you with My Spirit, I will give you patience."> > Then He took some pebbles from my burden.> > "Yes, Lord," I said with a sigh. "Those are small. But they're> important. I hate my hair. It's thin, and I can't make it look nice. I> can't afford to go to the beauty shop. I'm overweight and can't stay on> a diet. I hate all my clothes. I hate the way I look!"> > "My child, people look at your outward appearance, but I look at your> heart. By My Spirit you can gain self-control to lose weight. But your> beauty should not come from outward appearance. Instead, it should come> from your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit,> which is of great worth in My sight."> > My burden now seemed lighter than before.> > "I guess I can handle it now." I said.> > "There is more." He said. "Hand Me that last brick."> > "Oh, You don't have to take that. I can handle it."> > "My child, give it to Me." Again His voice compelled me. He reached> out His hand, and for the first time I saw the ugly wound.> > "But, Lord, this brick is so awful, so nasty, so.....Lord! What> happened to Your hands? They're so scarred!" No longer focused on my> burden, I looked for the first time into His face. In His brow were> ragged scars --as though someone had pressed thorns into His flesh.> > "Lord," I whispered. "What happened to You?"> > His loving eyes reached into my soul.> > "My child, you know. Hand Me the brick. It belongs to Me. I bought> it."> > "How?"> > "With My blood."> > "But why, Lord?"> > "Because I have loved you with an Everlasting Love. Give it to Me."> > I placed the filthy brick into His wounded palm. It contained all the> dirt and evil of my life: my pride, my selfishness, the depression that> constantly tormented me.> > He turned to the cross and hurled my brick into the pool of blood at> it's base. It hardly made a ripple.> > "Now, My child, you need to go back. I will be with you always. When> you are troubled, call to Me and I will help you and show you things you> cannot imagine now."> > "Yes, Lord, I will call on You."> > I reached to pick up my burden.> > "You may leave that here if you wish. You see all these burdens? They> are the ones that others have left at My feet. Joan's, Paula's,> Debra's, Ruth's..... When you leave your burden here, I carry it with> you. Remember, My yoke is easy and My burden is light."> > As I placed my burden with Him, the light began to fade. Yet I heard> Him whisper, "I will never leave you, nor forsake you."> > A peace flooded my soul