JOSHUA TIME 506

AWESOME RESUME> > To Whom It May Concern:> > I heard you were considering a new manager in your life. I would like to> apply for the job. I believe I am the qualified candidate. I created the> heavens and the earth. I AM. I am the only one that has ever done this> job successfully. I was the first manager of human beings. In fact, I> made them. So, naturally, I know how humanity works, and what is best to> get people back into proper working condition. It will be like having> the manufacturer as your personal mechanic. If this is your first time> considering Me, I would like to point out that the blood of My Son,> Jesus, on the cross of Calvary has already paid my salary. What I need> from you is the acknowledgment that the price is sufficient to pay for> all of your sins and your independence from Me. I need you to believe> this in your heart and to tell somebody else about your decision with> your mouth. The next thing I ask is the right to change and fix your> life, so you can learn how to stay close to Me. I will make some major> changes and revisions. They are not for you to worry about.> > I need your permission to execute these changes:> * My way and in My time.> * I will change your desires and give you the strength to make the> changes.> * Please keep YOUR hands out of the way. I won't require assistance.> Don't try to help me and don't resist me. I really do need your full> commitment and cooperation. If you give me those, the process can go> smoothly, without delays.> > My resume is included below.> > Sincerely Yours,> ~God~> > * RESUME *> NAME: GOD> ADDRESS: Everywhere (Omnipresent)> PHONE: 1(800) 4U2 - PRAY> > EXPERIENCE:> * From the beginning of time. Before the beginning of time.> * From everlasting to everlasting. I made time.> > ABILITY:> * All Powerful! (Omnipotent)> > PRIOR EMPLOYMENT:> * Created the universe, put the Galaxies in place, formed man.> * Established Heaven and earth by My spoken Word and am currently> holding the world and universe together by My sole power.> > EDUCATION AND TRAINING:> * I AM - I AM all Knowledge> * I AM Truth> * I AM Light> * I AM Understanding> * I AM Life> * I AM Love> * I AM The Way - I Am the Good Shepherd - I and the Father 'AM' One,> "Omniscient"> > CHARACTER REFERENCE:> Love, light and life (1 John 4:16, 1 John 1:5, John 14:6).> A representative, but by no means conclusive, lists of other character> traits are as follows:> * Wisdom - James 1:5> * Comfort - 2 Corinthians 1:3> * Truth - John 8:32> * Healer - 1 Peter 2:24> * Strength - Phil. 4:13> * Forgiveness - 1 John 1:9> * Provider - Phil. 4:19> * Mercy - Ephesians 2:24> * Good - Matt. 19:17> * Peace - Romans 14:17> > AVAILABILITY:> * Willing and ready to take over your life at a moment notice.> * Able to provide you with salvation and everlasting life.> * Will bring all of who I AM into your life. Can start IMMEDIATELY.> * Available for 24 hrs a day companionship, counseling, guidance,> comfort and consolation to strengthen you and stand with you against all> attacks from the enemy. To renew your mind and spirit, and to transform> you into a creature if you let Me. I will become your life and you will> become My body.> > SALARY REQUIREMENT:> * Payment for all work that has and will be accomplished in your life> has already been paid for through the blood of My Son. Your only> responsibility is to Believe and commit, to have Faith and trust and> obey what Jesus has done and wants to do in your life. I look forward to> meeting with you personally.> > OTHER REFERENCES:> * The Holy Bible (Available Upon Request).>