JOSHUA TIME 428

>Dear President Bush:> > >> > >> > >> > >I'm about to plan a little trip with my family and extended family, and> > >I would like to ask you to assist me. I'm going to walk across the> > >border from the U.S. into Mexico, and I need to make a few> > >arrangements.> > >> > >> > >> > >I know you can help with this.> > >> > >> > >> > >I plan to skip all the legal stuff like visas, passports, immigration> > >quotas and laws. I'm sure they handle those things down there the same> > >way you do here.> > >> > >> > >> > >So, would you mind telling your buddy, El Presidente Vicente Fox, that> > >I'm on my way over? Please let him know that I will be expecting the> >following:> > >> > >> > >> > >1. Free medical care for my entire family.> > >> > >> > >> > >2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might> > >need, whether I use them or not.> > >> > >> > >> > >3. All government forms need to be printed in English.> > >> > >> > >> > >4. I want my kids to be taught by English-speaking teachers.> > >> > >> > >> > >5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.> > >> > >> > >> > >6. I want my kids to see the American flag flying on the top of the> > >flag pole at their school with the Mexican flag flying lower down.> > >> > >> > >> > >7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.> > >> > >> > >> > >8. I will need a local Mexican driver's license so I can get easy> > >access to government services.> > >> > >> > >> > >9. I do not plan to have any car insurance, and I won't make any effort> > >to learn local traffic laws.> > >> > >> > >> > >10. In case any Mexican police officers do not get the memo from El> > >Presidente Fox to leave me alone, please be sure that all police> > >officers speak English.> > >> > >> > >> > >11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put American flag> > >decals on my car, and have a gigantic American celebration on July 4th.> > >I do not expect, nor will I appreciate, any complaints or negative> > >comments from Mexican 'nativists'.> > >> > >> > >> > >12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, and> > >don't enforce any labor laws or tax laws.> > >> > >> > >> > >13. Please tell all the people in Mexico to be extremely nice and never> > >say a critical word about me, or about the strain I might place on the> > >Mexican economy.> > >> > >> > >> > >I know this is an easy request, because you already do all these things> > >for all the people who come to the U.S. from Mexico. I'm sure that El> > >Presidente Fox won't mind returning the favor if you ask him nicely.> > >> > >> > >> > >However, if he gives you any trouble, I suggest you invite him to go> > >quail hunting with your Vice President.> > >> > >> > >> > >Thank you so much for your kind help.