JOSHUA TIME 476

A Matter of Patience> =====================> > About 2 1/2 years ago, I wrote to MountainWings telling of the> situation I was going through.> > The year I turned 40, my husband of nearly 20 years left me for> a 23-year old, my best friend died with cancer, I was> hospitalized on two different occasions for severe depression,> treated for anorexia and my daughter moved to California.> > I had raised my family in the church, was a Sunday school> teacher, children's church director, youth minister, choir> director, youth choir director, youth drama team director,> church organist and pianist fill-in and an all-around over> achiever.> > I thought my marriage was made in heaven. I was completely> fooled and my world was destroyed with the words, "I'm in love> with someone else." Before our divorce was final, he had a baby> born with the other woman and that just added to my grief and> desolation.> > I swore never again would I trust someone else with my heart.> I mean, apparently, I trusted the wrong person all of these> years, so the problem was with me. Since I was a faulty human> being, I would just stay to myself and live in my misery the> rest of my life.> > Many times during this period I stood in church and cried out to> God, "Why! Why are you allowing this to happen to my family?"> "I cannot believe it is your will that my family breaks up, God,> I have been faithful, kept my family in church, served you,> loved you, worshipped you. What more could you ask of me?> How can you let this happen?"> > Of course, I received no answer because during this time I> wasn't listening to God. With just the poor, pitiful groanings> of a woman so deeply hurt nothing was going to penetrate the> pain.> > My pain was all I had left and I wasn't about to let go of that.> > Then one day, when I was reading my Bible, I came across the> scripture that says God created us in His image. Now, if I love> God and I'm created in His image, doesn't it stand to reason I> have to love myself or hate God? I had begun to despise looking> in the mirror at myself because I didn't like the skeleton I had> become.> > With this knowledge, I began to pray about my anorexia and God> began to give me the strength to eat and to even take a glance> at myself in the mirror now and again.> > Then, about a year ago, God sent an angel to me. Someone came> into my life who was very evidently orchestrated by the> Heavenly Father. Without going into a long story, let's just> say God has a sense of humor because he has the same name as my> ex.> > He is wonderful, kind, patient, loving, handsome, understanding,> been through a lot of pain in his life also and best of all,> he loves me.> > And guess what? After a year of fighting it, God revealed to me> last week that I need to quit struggling and realize He sent me> a blessing if I would only open my eyes and receive it.> > A precious gift of someone to love and to love me; that would> still allow me to love myself. Yes, He helped me realize that I> had to love myself before I could love anyone else the way I> should.> > Last Friday night, I was driving home and I was listening to> Andy Stanley speak about in order to follow Christ, sometimes He> puts His finger on something in our lives and asks us to give it> to Him.> > Most of the time, it's something we argue with Him about, like> our marriage, relationships, our job, etc., because we just> cannot imagine He really means it.> > All at once, it dawned on me... God had put His finger on my> marriage because I thought I had the perfect little family unit.> > I was happy and that was all that mattered. Dr. Stanley went> further to say that while God had paid the price for us,> following Him always costs us something.> > Sometimes we choose not to do His will and it costs us even> more. I did that for a while and ended up sick, alone and> miserable when all I had to do was realize that God is always in> control.> > I am getting married in December to this wonderful man. God has> shown me He can always see down the road further than me and if> I will only trust Him, He has happiness untold for me.> > It's a matter of faith.> It's a matter of trust.> It's a matter of believing what you say you believe.> > But most of all, it's a matter of patience.> "Waiting on the Lord"> > Thank you. I know this was long, but I felt compelled to give> God all of the praise and glory for bringing untold happiness> into my life.> > > "But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength;> They shall mount up with wings like eagles,> They shall run and not be weary,> They shall walk and not faint."> Isaiah 40:31> > ~A MountainWings Original by Carole Graham, Stockbridge, GA~> > > Thank you for inviting MountainWings in your mailbox.> See you tomorrow.>