JOSHUA TIME 863

THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT LIVING IN KENTUCKY > >
Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. >
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Kentucky. >
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Kentucky plus a couple
no one's seen before. >
If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites. >
Onced and twiced are words. >
It is not a shopping cart; it is a buggy. >
People actually grow and eat okra. >
Fixinto is one word. >
There is no such thing as "lunch." There is only dinner and then there is
supper. >
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're
two. We do like a little tea with our sugar! >
Backards and forwards means "I know everything about you." >
"DJeet?" is actually a phrase meaning "Did yo u eat?" > >
You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You
work until you're done or it's too dark to see. >
You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH them. > >

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM KENTUCKY IF: > >
You measure distance in minutes. >
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day. >
You use "fix" as a verb. Example: "I'm fixing to go to the store." >
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain,
insect or animal. >
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
>
You know what a "DAWG" is. >
You carry jumper cables in your car . . . for your OWN car. >
You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and ketchup. >
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but
require 6 pages for local gossip and sports. >
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday. >
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm." >
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
>
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off
to "Wally World." >
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean
weather. >
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop. . it's Coke, regardless of
brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?" >
Fried catfish is the other white meat. >
We don't need no stinking driver's ed . . . if our mama says we can drive, we
can drive. >
You understand these jokes and forward them to your friends from Kentucky (and
those who just wish they were). >
Not EVERYONE can be a Kentuckian; it's an art form and a gift from God!

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