JOSHUA TIME 443

This 85-year-old couple, having been marriedalmost 60 years, died in a car crash. Theyhad been in good health the last 10 years,mainly due to her interest in health food andexercise.When they reached the pearly gates, St. Petertook them to their mansion, which was deckedout with a beautiful kitchen, master bathsuite and Jacuzzi.As they oohed and aahed, the old man askedPeter how much all this was going to cost. "It'sfree," Peter replied. "This is Heaven."Next they went out back to survey thechampionship golf course in the backyard. Theywould have golfing privileges every day, andeach week the course would change to a new one,representing the great golf courses on Earth.The old man asked, "What are the greens fees?"Peter's reply, "This is Heaven -- you play for free."Next they went to the clubhouse and saw thelavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of theworld laid out."How much to eat?" asked the old man."Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it'sFREE!" Peter replied with some exasperation."Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesteroltables?" the old man asked timidly.Peter lectured, "That's the best part -- you caneat as much as you like of whatever you like andyou never get fat and you never get sick. This isHeaven."With that the old man went into a fit of anger,throwing down his hat and stomping on it, andshrieking wildly.Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down,asking him what was wrong. The old manlooked at his wife and said, "This is all yourfault. If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins,I could have been here 10 years ago!"

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